I Wanna Be Where the People Are

I was going to right an installment that was more sentimental but this topic just kept popping up in my head over and OVER again! Echoing in my cranium like a rock falling into a cave...the noise was deafening so I had to relieve the agony, the distress, the pain and divulge one of my favorite All-Camp events: The Miss Starlight Pageant!

I had first learned about the Miss Starlight Pageant in my interview process. A. Lee had given me an overview of some of the activities and for some reason (hmm...I wonder what that reason could be??) I was slightly drawn to this one particular event. When I arrived at camp I made it known that I was going to win this beauty contest. I had preened and prodded myself and had scouted out the girls bunks trying to find the one that I thought would lead me to victory. All my preparation had finally culminated when Miss Starlight finally came.

The Lee knew how much I wanted to win and loaned me a dress. My friend Bridgette let me borrow her wig. One of the girls let me borrow her glasses after my girls broke my glasses (an event that would happen many more times in my duration at camp.) I found a nice faux fur throw and some costume jewelry and my outfit was set. I made my way over to Bunk 12 (I think it was 12...to be honest I really can't remember at this point) and had them do my make-up. We realized with only 5 minutes left that my legs were not shaved. Let's jut say it took a really, really long time to do my make-up.

Being a swimmer my entire life had prepared me for this one singular moment. This defining event that would test my years of having to shave for a big meet. I had 5 minutes to make my legs silky, contest winning smooth. Realizing that I would be crunched for time I made the fatal decision of simply shaving the front of my legs. What was I suppose to do? I mean really?!

I jumped upon the Moonbuggy and took a ride to the Starlight Playhouse where I joined twenty-some other contestants all looking absolutely stunning in their new make-overs. After some unnecessary small-talk and a LOT of posing for the paparazzi we finally began to make the journey upstairs to start the contest. The preliminary round was every one's opportunity to introduce themselves. I was Veronica Fox. I trailer-trash debutante with a flair for fashion.

The judges sat at the end of the catwalk and had their score cards ready to pick those lucky souls who would advance to the next round. It is here that I made my fatal error. I had thought the judges were picking contestants who had actually made a dramatic change to look like women. I thought essentially it was a drag show. Oh no! It was much much more campy (all pun intended)! The premise of the contest was not who could look most like a woman but rather who could look the absolutely most ridiculous out of everyone. I was no match for this scenario. I was hot! Not a hot mess.

I didn't make it past the first round. I was destroyed. My friend Jeff won with his rendition of Ariel's "I Wanna Be Where the People Are" from Disney's "Little Mermaid." His sea-green outfit paired with a uni-brow and French accent was an easy bet. I learned from my mistakes and told myself "NEXT YEAR!!!" NEXT YEAR WAS MY YEAR!!!!!